What Floor are you On?

Shaun told me a joke as we were drifting off to sleep last night, and I woke up thinking about it.
He paraphrased it thusly: (and I'm paraphrasing the paraphrasing, but you get it):

There is a store that sells Husbands. You may choose any husband you like, and the husbands get progressively better the higher the floor you go; however once you go up a floor, you cannot go down a floor.
Got it? OK:

The first floor sells Nice Guys.
The second floor sells Good Looking Guys with a Job.
The third floor sells Handsome Men, with a Good Job that Like to Clean.
The fourth floor sells Dashing Men, with a Great Job that like to Clean, Are Romantic, have a Good Sense of Humor and are Good in Bed.

The Fifth floor has a sign that reads: 32 Billion Women Have come to this floor.

(The joke here, if you don't get it, is that women are never satisfied, and have to keep looking, even though they have the chance to have a Dashingly Handsome, Wealthy, Clean, Romantic, Funny Man that is Good in Bed.)

Across the street, is the Wife Store.

First floor has Pretty Women.
Second Floor has Pretty Women who Clean.
Third Floor has Pretty Women who Clean and Like Sex.

No one has ever seen the Fourth Floor.

*****************************************************

Now, I think this is pretty funny, and for most likely being a joke from Playboy-- (Where Shaun gets almost ALL his jokes from)-- it is a pretty good insight to the female mind.

Why are women not as satisfied with what they have? Is it because we were the Hunter/Gatherers in cavemen times, so that in our modern day and age, we still keep searching, hunting, trying to find a tastier berry, bigger stick, better catch?

And what about the women that have decided to get married? I know that after a few years, things are generally supposed to 'simmer down' in a relationship...is that when women get bored and start flirting with the UPS guy? Or when men hook up with their secretaries? What then?

I have to admit, I'm very curious about marriage. For those that don't know me, I'm not married. I don't even see a glimmer of that in my life anytime soon. I dont' understand how some people have acutally found that person they want to realistically spend their life with.
I'm not saying I don't ever want to be married. Of course I do. I believe in love. I'm not a bitter or sarcastic person at all. I just havent found the right guy yet.
...
Part II to come later, maybe Monday....

I was just re-reading all my previous posts, and man, do I sound like a alcoholic, weepy man chasing woman! I'm NOT! I swear!

It's all over the news now how potential employers read people's blogs to see what they are like in thier day to day life. I have tried to keep this blog as anonymous as possible.

But, in the off chance that an employer DOES read this, I'm a really great person, and a hardworking employee! HIRE ME!

Ok. Now I feel better.

Choices and getting Married

Blah!
It's 4:45 on a beautiful Friday afternon. I've been stuck in this place all freekin day. I got out for an hour for lunch. I'm soooooooooooo tired.
I was all pissy today, and about to go on a blogging rampage when I realized: 1. I forgot my blogger account name. 2. Blogspot moved, and I had to go thru this whole rigamoarole to get in here. (This is what happens when you dont blog for a year and a half.) Now I'm just cranky. I want to go to sleep, but NOPE! I scheduled myself a nice little meeting at 6:30pm. how awesome of me.

I was thinking today about the Choices one makes in life. Wouldn't it be great if there really WAS a time machine, and you could go back at certain points in your life and just see what would happen if you chose Door Number 2? OR 3? Or said what you really meant to that person? Or....you get the idea.

Last Saturday night, another one of those "Holy Crap, is what was supposed to happen??" moments proudly slapped me on the face.
Shaun and I were visiting a friend at his house who had recently gotten married. This friend and I had always kind of flirted --but not really flirted. We ran in the same social groups, and he is a really cool guy, just someone you want to hang around, ya know? Well, in the wee hours of the AM, we were talking about the night that Shaun and I met, for the *second* time, which was the start of our relationship. That night was New years Eve's Eve, (I believe I've bloged this event already).

Well, it turns out that this guy friend of mine, was actually waiting it out for Shaun to leave, so he could hit on me, but instead, Shaun was the one that toughed it out until the guy left for home. I, of course, had no idea what was going on. (Acutally, in retrospect, Shaun had mentioned this to me at one point later on, but I dismissed the fact that the friend was still around as just being friendly/drinking beer.)

So my (now married to someone else friend) mentions that he WAS trying to hit on me that night after all. I turn redder than shit, and try to laugh it off. Now I'm mad and wondering...what WOULD have happened, if I was just a little more aware of my surroundings? Would I be married to him now? I mean, I know what happens to my relationship with Shaun. How would things be different?

It got me thinking of all the different possiblities of things I could have done different. Of course, every minute of every day there holds unlimited possibilities, but I'm not trying to warp my brain, (or yours poor reader) around this quantum physics science. What I mean is the big things, that looking back one can say, "Yep, that was a turning point in my life."

For example, what if I had taken that FULL SCHOLORSHIP to the private liberal arts school in CT? Instead, I went to Southwest Missouri state becuase of some fucking random dream.

My life would be massively different just based on that one single act. One decision, to not stay in CT w/ Gina and David, led me down the path that has me sitting in this chair writing this right now. And, here is the kicker: out of all the stuff I've done in my life, the music, the clubs, the people I know, things I've done, I feel unfulfilled. Like I missed the boat on something, and I have not been able to quite figure out what it is. It feels like when you are trying to remember someone's name and it's on the tip of your tounge, and you know that you know it, but you want to say the guys' name is Bob or something, but it really turns out that his name is Pierre.

I have missed my Pierre-Boat. Or something.

Grateful

As a secondary post to aWAKEning, I'd like to list the things I am truely grateful for...in the next 5 min, cuz it's 4:50 on a Friday...

My mother, for always being there for me, even when I was in the lowest of the low, and pissed her off.
My sister, for always makeing me smile when she was little,and we would have frosting fights on birthdays, and when she got older, seeing her puke.
Steve, for being my first boyfriend, teaching me about "real life", and putting up with me while I grew and experimented.
Schad, for being so amazing of a friend, after all these years.
Susan, for keeping in contact with me over all the years of HS drama. And asking me to be in her wedding. That meant SO MUCH to me. I don't know if you know that. Now we're old, girl! :)
Matt M., for making me laugh when I'm down, and letting me get pissed off at you and have you laugh at me. And for getting stoned and singing the "People Song" in LA. Classic. Can we please row up the street?
Cullun, you saved me by taking me in, and you probably don't even know it.
Karen, for Peeps, and staying in contact after college.
Malvin, for teaching me about football, even though I forgot it all and never cared. And for letting me find out that i dont want to date people like you, although you are still an awesome, hot guy. :)
Nino, for all the talks in the parking lot, trying to live with me, (and me trying to live with you!) for being honest, even when you were lying. I love you and I hate your guts.

....to be continued.....

aWAKEning

Last night, I went to Mike H.'s wake. I didnt know him too well, he was part of my social circle though, and I'd hung out with him and his girlfriend Shelly a few times at some of the Burner events. He was young, maybe mid 40's? Pretty cool guy from what I knew of him. One of his friends decided to hold a wake/homage to Mike at her house last night, so Dustin and I caravaned over there. It was a really nice turnout, I'd say maybe 20+ people were there, a bunch of drummers and a lot of fire dancers. They put on a really nice show. On the way over there, Dave Matthews "Eat, Drink and Be Merry" came on the radio. They'd been playing a lot of DMB on the radio lately which I thought was kinda odd, but this time, I actually listened to the words. "Eat, Drink and Be Merry, for tomorrow we die." I turned it up really loud in the car, and thought it so appropriate for the moment. It got me thinking. I'm sure Mike didn't know he was going to pass on. AgniTara told me that he didn't look to well the last time she saw him, but attributed it to an amonia, or maybe the flu.
No one ever knows when they are about to die. Sure, if you're 89 years old, you have a pretty good clue, you might not outlive the decade, but even then, some people live to be over 100.
There are so many things that I have not done in my lifetime of 30 years so far. But, I've also done a hell of a lot of things that most people haven't. Money is a good thing, it helps shelter and feed and clothe, but that's not the final destination, is it? I guess for some people it is a severe driving factor. I dont want to die penniless either. Shaun is all about the money. IRA's, 401(k)'s, saving accounts. That is awesome that he has all those things at 23, and is planning his future. Not to be overly dramatic, but what if he dies at 24? Then what? He could have used that money to go skiing, spend and extra $20 on a nice bottle of wine, whatever.
See, I'm different. I have money, I use it. Not always wisely. I dropped $30 at Walgreens today on moisturizer. (I'm vain. I have wrinkles. Oh yes, dont tell me you can't see them! Liar!) I also have 9+ photo albums of amazing memories. Trips with friends, dinners, cute clothes that hang in my closet with the tags on them or maybe I've worn them once, that I bought for one particular night, things like that. I can't take that with me when I pass on. You can't take a IRA with you either, however it would be less of a burden on one's family if there was extra money to take care of funeral bills. What happens to really poor people when they die? They still have to be buried. Cant just pop them in a bag and toss 'em out to sea or dig a ditch in a backyard. There's got to be a law against that, I'm sure. :)
When I die, I dont care how my body is disposed of. I guess i would prefer being creamated, (makeing sure it's ALL MY ASHES in the can and not a mixture....eeewwww....saw that on 60 minutes once. Gross) anyway, being creamated and sprinkled over the ocean. Somewhere over L.A. probably, but any beach will do. NOT A FUCKING LAKE! Then, I want EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE to throw a huge fucking 2 day party in CELEBRATION of my life. I want all you guys to be sitting around a campfire drunk off your asses trading hilarious Andrea stories. Crying, laughing, bonding, making new friends from my old ones. I want the PSP'ers, alumni, LA club friends, Midwest Burners, and anyone in my inbox or on MySpace to know. Cuz I would feel really bad if there was a good friend out there that had no idea I"ve passed and just simply thought I never email/call them. I wonder how one goes about making a list of friends. hmmm....weird thought.

Well, as Dave says, I'm gonna Eat, Drink and Be very fucking Merry. Becuase tomorrow, I might die. I'll die broke, but hey, as long as it was worth it.

One Year and Two Days

So, I have officially been in Kansas City for ONE Year, and TWO Days.

Wow. Honestly, I did not think I was going to be here for that long. I thought I"d give up on this way-to-fucking-cold-in-the-winter- way-to-fucking-hot-in-the-summer town.

Nope. I'm still here, (as some song says)

Cullun is buying a new house. Well, not really a house. It's a triplex, with 3 apartment type things in it. The other two apts already have tenents that have been there for over three years. I hope they are cool, and not some redneck fuckers. I guess I"m gonna be the new "landlord figure", esp. when he figures out when he is leaving for Europe. Leanne is most likely going with him. And, Kyle's new place will be done sometime in March.

I told Cullun that as long as I'm in KC, I'll take care of his cats and the fish. Guess that makes me responsible and stuff. (ugh). LOL

I'm still holding out for California, as soon as I can find something out there. Florida is looking ok too, anywhere warm, except that FL still has the humidity factor. Oh my hair!! ;)

Speaking of Florida, Shaun and I are going to Daytona Beach next month. His parents have a timeshare there that overlooks the beach. Woah! The more I hang out with Shaun, the more I like him. Yeah, he's like 7 years younger than me, and a bit on the pessimistic side, where I"m the eternal optimist, (The glass is ALWAYS half full to me!) but he's so nice, and advernterous, and has a good job and is a responsible human being....which is what..*gasp*...I might just need.

:-)

Happy Friday!

I am somebody's girlfriend!

I have a boyfriend. Wow. That looks wierd in writing.
I met Shaun thru Cullun, actually a few months ago. He came over to our house for the Pre New Years Eve party, and faithfully remained the last person standing, (after myself, of course).
The next night, he ended up coming to my friends New Years Eve house party because he didn't have any other plans. I certainly did not think that this "one time" hookup would be anything other than it was, but we had a good time at the party, and Sunday night, NY Day, I went over to his house after showering and such and just hung out. We've been hanging out almost every day since.
He's 7 years younger than me though. I generally tend to gravitiate towards older men. But now I"m the older woman. LOL.
He constantly impresses me with how open he is, b/c if you first met him you would just think he's some "normal" guy....software engineer, watches football and drinks beer, not generally my type, as I like a little more spontanity, tattoos, etc etc.
I purposely did not invite him to the Fetish show that I went to last Saturday, only to have it come up in converstaion the night before at an art gallery we were touring with some of my friends. He goes, "I want to go to that, sounds fun". Enjoying the vision of a "date" to a fetish show, I invited him to come, and he had such a great time! (Even learned a little too, if ya know what i mean....;)

ooops, ran out of time, it's 4:55 Friday. I"m outta here, will finish this later.
peace

Ok, now it's almost 2 on Monday. I'm so tired at work. I'ts MLK day, and i'ts just me and one other guy in the office. I actually fell asleep on my desk for like 1/2 hour before the phone rang and woke me up.

OK OK I GET IT!

Please Andrea, Please stop thinking about it. Accept what happens and move on....

If this is the way it happens, then well, it was meant to be.

Just accept it and move on!

It WILL BE OK!!

:)

2006 Wrap Up

Well, here it is, one whole year later. It's been a decent year, as opposed to others, not Grrrreeat! in the Tony the Tiger way, but pretty good. A hell of a lot better than last year, that's for damn sure!! January I moved to Kansas City, held a few jobs, went thru 2 cars, a few boring dates, a lot of alone time, a lot of Bud Light, fell in love, got crushed by "love", and tried online dating, brought BlackLiquid to Kansas City (yea!!) Got re-acquainted with old college friends, made some killer new friends, traveled to Omaha, Des Moines, Springfield and St. Louis, random road tripped to Vegas and LA, went to LA, San Diego and San Francisco and Pleasanton a few times, made amends with mom, got pissed at Grammie, (what the hell was that Christmas card about?), tried to see my sister as an adult, not a little kid, and gained some insight into who I am.
All in all, a pretty good year.

Hopefully next year will be even better. No, not hopefully.

NEXT. YEAR. IN 2006. WILL BE AWESOME.

Just need to keep on keeping on....listening to my inner voice, make new friends/contacts, find a better job (in a warmer climate!), and believe in myself.

Happy New Year to all!
Yea 2006!!

~bubbles~